Saturday, August 16, 2008

Creepy Crawlers

Dedicated to those who scamper from the light... or towards it.

I always struggle with where to start on these things and as a result brood over what to say for weeks. Therefore, I have decided to just begin with my most recent thoughts. I feel the need to discuss my companionship, or lack there of, in regard to the bugs in my life. I cannot tell you all of the exciting happenings, however I will give you my most favored moments. To begin, you should know that I grew up in the country on a little farm in a little farm house. We were poor and had many roaches, spiders and mice. (Make your skin crawl?) We had these hairy mammoth spiders that chased me out of my bathroom to the point that I didn't want to bathe and would rather venture somewhere else for relief. I would call on my brother, bribing him with the name, "SPIDER MAN!!". Sometimes it worked. Even in high school, one morning I awoke to a note from my mother that said, " I killed a mammoth spider for you this morning. You owe me!" You can imagine how grateful I was. Still, when I visit my old home, I do not go to the bathroom in the middle of the night without shoes on.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about the critters that surround me, simply because they are everywhere this time of year. Tonight, I went to take a bath and what do you know? A roach was in the tub. And yesterday morning I got into my jeep to go to work and I heard a very strange noise. I considered the thought that it might be my cell freaking out, although it sounded mysteriously like a croak. When in college, I had a friend who often threatened to fill my jeep with water in the bottom and put fish and frogs inside. Anyway, when I got into my jeep last night to drive home, a tiny green tree frog was plastered to the inside of my window!! I left him there, to live if he pleases. Also, the other night Lindsay and I saw a moth that had to have been 5 inches wide. Ok, a story for your entertainment.

While in Crockett, I encountered even more critters if you can believe it. I had an exponential roach situation in my little duplex. They were itty bitty brown roaches that seemed to multiply uncontrollably. They ran from the light and hid behind and under my appliances in the kitchen. One day, Hugh came over to help me with this problem. I had ants marching out of the drain in my tub, B-1 bomber wasps flying around and a roach colony behind the refrigerator. This particular night we were proceeding with a coup on the said roach colony. Hugh, being the boy in this situation, moves the refrigerator from the wall. As the light touched the tile, roaches scattered like people in Houston when a hurricane is coming. Hugh was a little wide-eyed to tell you the truth. I didn't feel comfortable stomping them, because quite frankly it would be worse than playing dance dance revolution. My combat for the bomber wasps, was some quite strategic spray that shoots out with force and causes the flying pest to plummet to it's death. I grabbed the spray as quick as I could and then sprayed furiously at the little demons. My logic being that the spray contained poison and would therefore work gloriously. Hugh, meanwhile thinks that I have lost it. In the end, it appears that I have won my feat. I had before my very eyes, a roach graveyard. I think it quite strange how roaches lay on their backs with feet in the air after they die. How does that happen? Does it take severe energy for them to be upright? I'm curious of this and if anyone knows, please fill me in. Anyway, the spray had a greasy texture and when I went to sweep up the bitty carcases, a slippery film spread all over my floor. I tried to reach the paper towels and ended up fighting my own defeat into the pile of rank insect death. After several minutes of cleaning and laughing, I succeeded in cleaning up the mess and Hugh promised he didn't think me a fool. But I'm sure you know what he really thought.


Payton Bartee said...

"I tried to reach the paper towels and ended up fighting my own defeat into the pile of rank insect death."

Quote of the week right there, folks! Like the blog name. Welcome back!

Sevahn said...

Yay for your blog! I was hoping there could be one more thing on the internet that I could be addicted to and devote unnecessary amounts of time perusing. Thanks friend! Can't wait to read more!

Michelle said...

ohhhhh myyyy. your post brings back all-too familiar feelings of when a giant rat sized roach jumped on my neck during the night (despite zach's assurances they don't climb) it sounds like you handle them better than i do!

i MISS you so much! i am pumped you now have a blog so i can stalk your life from afar. love you!