Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Hot Tea to the Rescue

As I rounded the corner of my very dark and puddily parking lot, I noticed a car sitting in front of the mail boxes. The street lamp reflected off of the inside displaying a quite silver topped woman. And, although I could not hear her, she appeared to sneeze so hard she thrust forward and could have doubled as a rear ended car wreck victim. Sigh. How tired she must be getting home this time of night. Not to mention, a sneeze like that would wear you out. I parked the jeep and carried my very tired self to the door where I proceeded to prove my tiredness by turning the key the other way, thus locking my door. For about thirty seconds I couldn't understand why in the world my door wouldn't open! Such as my day.  Now as I sit with my favorite coffee cup full of chamomile tea, my inhaler and other things that keep me alive in my high pollen infected state(yeah I'm a total nerd), I realize how much I wish the day were longer.  Cold eggs in the morning in an attempt at protein for breakfast, a meeting gone long and popcorn for lunch, and finally - crackers in bed for a supper suffice. Sitting in bed proves to be the only personal time of my day, where ironically it should be filled with sleep. The morning haunts  me just hours away; however, I choose to hug my coffee cup and read stories filled with fantasies to please my imagination and pull me away from any sense of normalcy. Then I'm off to sleep after a page and half when my eyes are too heavy to lift open. Ready to start the day over again tomorrow, living the dream. 

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Top 5 Marty and Lauren

5. "I always knew ACU would turn you into a slut. Call me!" 
4. "I was going to say how much I have missed you, but regretfully I have changed my position." 
3. "Would a christmas card from David Hasslehoff smooth things out between us?" 
2. "So, I called you today... and decided that your message was false advertising." 
1. "You deserve it if you're going to show off your feminine berries to boys." 

"Joke Whore!"   "Traitorous Jerk!" "Insecure Freak!" "Happy Birthday, Scraper Loser." 



You are my complete friend. 

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

20 questions

A few things I've been asked in recent: 

Ms. Waggoner, can I go to the bathroom? 
Ms. Waggoner, my arm hurts when I move it like this. 
Ms. Waggoner, do you have a pencil?
Ms. Waggoner, can I go to the bathroom? 
Ms. Waggoner, can I go wash the marker off my face? Tressa did it. 
Ms. Waggoner, my tooth is coming out. 
Ms. Waggoner, did they have sonic 100 years ago?
Ms. Waggoner, do I have to write in sentences?
Ms. Waggoner, my head is bleeding a little bit. 
Ms. Waggoner, can I put that they flew with wings? 
Ms. Waggoner, why did you change the desks? 
Ms. Waggoner, is this for a grade?
Ms. Waggoner, what time is lunch?
Ms. Waggoner, do we need our jackets?

Ms. Waggoner? Ms. Waggoner? Ms. Waggoner!!! 


Sometimes, I hate my name... And love it all the same.