Top 5 Marty and Lauren

5. "I always knew ACU would turn you into a slut. Call me!" 

4. "I was going to say how much I have missed you, but regretfully I have changed my position." 

3. "Would a christmas card from David Hasslehoff smooth things out between us?" 

2. "So, I called you today... and decided that your message was false advertising." 

1. "You deserve it if you're going to show off your feminine berries to boys." 

"Joke Whore!"   "Traitorous Jerk!" "Insecure Freak!" "Happy Birthday, Scraper Loser." 

You are my complete friend.