The Big Bad Dog

I was going outside again. I go pretty often lately.  I get really excited when the the locks start to get unlocked. I move out of the way and hop outside.  I LOVE the way grass smells! I romp around and sniff the tree. Now it's time to do what I came to do... if only I can find the right spot....Mom isn't paying attention.. maybe I'll chase that bug... YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Right across the big white rock, I see a GIANT!!! He's enormous. HELP!!!!! He'll turn me into a taco! I'll just run back inside before he smells me. The wind was in my hair, my ears flapping by my side... I'm gonna make it.. I'm gonna make it.... almost home free.... SMACK.  Ah man, she shut the screen door! I hate glass!!  No one saw that right? 

- Hurley 

Boom De Clap De Clap

On the last night of Uplift there is a camp slide show consisting of shots from the entire week.  The lights are off and every time someone is on the screen, their respective youth group yells to show support.  Bammel's youth group had glow sticks and each time a member of their youth group was on stage, they stood and swung their various glowing colors, screaming madly the entire time.  (We were all quite a bit jealous of this. Where were our glowing sticks??)   

Sitting between Josh and John, I had many laughs.  After about the 6th light show from Bammel, John yells, "Blessed are the meek!" 

Josh is concerned at this and says, "Those can be used as projectile." 

John's rebuttal, "I now declare war on Bammel!" 

Some time passes and all sponsors are called on stage for thank yous. Bammel rises, wave their cheering light sabers and call wildly.  

As we walk up, John says, "It's about time I got some glow stick action."  

While on stage we endured screams at bright lights.  The entire week we have heard and used the slogan, "My name is ___________ and God loves me."     

I'll end with John's version,   "My name is John, and God loves Bammel."  

As a disclaimer to those who are offended by this post: We love Bammel... so much in fact, we want to be just like them.  So, Payton... Taylor... Courtney... and any others... no harm intended.  Loves only.  

Ohhhh Kathryn.

During Rec time at Uplift, a group of the teens, along with Kandy, John and myself, play phase ten.  Kathryn is one of the girls we play with. She is quite hilarious and had us rolling all weekend. We love her very much and thought these were some priceless moments: 

- "Hey, she doesn't have a man?" (This was to Kandy in secret regarding yours truly.) 

- "Wait, is the puppet talking, or him?"  (A ventriloquist was on stage) 

- "In God Time today, I learned that when a guy and a guy get together it's called a Bromance!" 

- "I had three hamsters and their names were Brian the First, Brian the Second, and Brian the Third. "   When asked why they were named Brian, she responded with:  "There was this guy that liked me that looked like a hamster. His name was Brian." 

- "Hey, I got 96, how bout you?" (This was regarding phase 10 scores, which are counted in fives.) 

- "You know, long distance relationships don't work." 

- "I think I'm ready to go home."   

 Why? 

" My Laptop." 

- "I have to listen to Ring of Fire every night because of my dad. You know, because the walls are so thin."  

- "And now you know what boys do in the dorm."  (In response to all the youth group boys hyped up on coke) 

Top 10 Reasons I love Camp Blue Haven

This week I am in Arkansas for Uplift. There's something about church camp that makes me think of my very own....   

My Top 10 Reasons for loving Blue Haven: 

10.  The Spring (if it ever rains enough) 

9.  Basketball during rec (minus getting hurt and the gay boot). 

8. The hour of rest -- Amen? 

7.  Mail Call (no one sends snail mail anymore!) 

6. Honey if you love me, smile.  (And the boys wooing the girls) 

5.  Hobo dinners (minus poison ivy)

4. Praying all day long... holding hands during each prayer.. and the ability to strategically place yourself next to someone cute. 

3. Hermit's Peak  (honey and peanut butter sandwiches and a nap under a tree) 

2. Marty Baker (My complete friend and Scraper King) 

.... DRUM ROLL  

1. T L C.    :)  (and everything that came with it... ) 

Sooo Not the Plan

Well, many of you that know me realize that this weekend was a bit full.  Perhaps that's the understatement of the year? 

My weekend is starting on Thursday, simply because I'm a teacher and I can do that in the summertime. 

Lessons Learned: 

1. Do laundry every week, instead of a bunch of laundry all at once. 

2. Don't procrastinate when you make necklaces. 

3. Toddlers need sleep.  

4. Adults need sleep. 

5. You know the french fries are good when grease spots seep through the paper bag... 

6. Midnight movies interfere with sleep. 

7. Brothers like crude humor. 

8. It's funny to you too... 

9. Family breakfast at the compound is worth it no matter how tired you are or how much you have to do. 

10. Pack a few days before leaving for a trip... 

11. Starbucks coffee is like a drug and will make life happier. 

12. The EZ tag is one of the best inventions ever. 

13. If you have a concert in your car while you're driving, the trip goes much faster. 

14.  Old friends make life worth living. 

15. You can't be in two places at once. 

16. You can't be best friends with married boys. 

17. Driving round trip in a day makes for a long day. 

18. Your puppy will still love you even after being alone for 13 hours. (don't turn me in, he had water and food) 

19. A mag lite and shoes will give the you bravery needed to go outside and flip the breaker at 2:00 am. 

20. You don't need a man, you can fix the air conditioner yourself! 

21. Learn to turn your phone off when you go to sleep. 

22. A wad of paper towels will grab puppy poop without it really feeling like it. 

23. You need stamps to mail a letter. 

24. 12:00-3:00 is an unnecessarily hot time to have a bbq in Houston. 

25. 50 years of marriage is quite an accomplishment. 

26. Cousins are most special. 

27. Sweat will ruin make up, hair and any good smells. 

28. Be sure to empty coolers before picking them up. 

29. Southwest will call you if your plane is delayed.

30.  12 year olds are a rare breed. 

31. People should not sing opera on planes. 

32. 7 minutes is enough time to change planes. 

33.  Sending a charter bus to retrieve 3 people is a little extreme. 

34. There should be clear exit signs for charter buses and their drivers. (Maybe neon flashing ones that leave nothing to question or speculation)

35. Parking levers can be manually moved up without the purchasing of a ticket. 

36. They come right back down before a charter bus can drive through. 

 I'm in the land of bare feet, kissin cousins and Bill Clinton. GET ME OUT OF HERE!

Tree Roaches.. what?

Summer is the best time of year. I can stay up late playing and not care about the consequences of seeing 4:00 am. Unless, that is, I am required to be at a training at 8. Sitting in a class sleepily is quite indicative of what college appeared for me. As a professional, I suck it up and appear alert, coherent and interested. This mindset is persuaded by the promise of an afternoon nap and time to kill. On this day, my pantry was quite bare; however, I had the ingredients for a Lipton rice packet. I made the rice and was quite excited about it. In the middle of the day TV choices are slim. I could watch soap operas or crap. I ended up finding a documentary on a volcano that was about to explode. This intensely intrigued me and my carpet picnic was turning out to be a fantastic event. All until I saw the shadow of a moving object. Hurley had been banished to his cage, therefore I knew it wasn't him. I leaned over on the couch to investigate. Crawling up my curtains was a biblically sized bug. I watched it's grotesque wings and spiny feelers move up the curtains. WAS THIS A ROACH? It looked like one.. but I sure hadn't heard of one quite this big. And crawling UP my curtains? The idea of squishing this creature was not appealing to me. Something of this magnitude would have quite the carnage to display and that would require a bit of cleanup. No thank you. I put on some shoes and grabbed my broom. (There's something about going on a bug hunt with no shoes that creeps me out). I snuck up to the curtains, opened the door and started to whack the curtains, causing the mystery bug to crash to the floor. I overdid it on my first sweep, causing the massive bug to slide across the floor like a hockey puck. It was lost under my chair. I took a deep breath, moved the chair and thankfully found it on it's back... it couldn't run at me! Calmer this time, I swept it out the door. I then closed the door and locked all 4 locks. See if it gets back in. I am the boss of my house.



Someone later told me those things are called tree roaches... excuse me!? I didn't know they a) could get that big, b) crawl up curtains and c) get in MY house!!!!!