Tree Roaches.. what?

Summer is the best time of year. I can stay up late playing and not care about the consequences of seeing 4:00 am. Unless, that is, I am required to be at a training at 8. Sitting in a class sleepily is quite indicative of what college appeared for me. As a professional, I suck it up and appear alert, coherent and interested. This mindset is persuaded by the promise of an afternoon nap and time to kill. On this day, my pantry was quite bare; however, I had the ingredients for a Lipton rice packet. I made the rice and was quite excited about it. In the middle of the day TV choices are slim. I could watch soap operas or crap. I ended up finding a documentary on a volcano that was about to explode. This intensely intrigued me and my carpet picnic was turning out to be a fantastic event. All until I saw the shadow of a moving object. Hurley had been banished to his cage, therefore I knew it wasn't him. I leaned over on the couch to investigate. Crawling up my curtains was a biblically sized bug. I watched it's grotesque wings and spiny feelers move up the curtains. WAS THIS A ROACH? It looked like one.. but I sure hadn't heard of one quite this big. And crawling UP my curtains? The idea of squishing this creature was not appealing to me. Something of this magnitude would have quite the carnage to display and that would require a bit of cleanup. No thank you. I put on some shoes and grabbed my broom. (There's something about going on a bug hunt with no shoes that creeps me out). I snuck up to the curtains, opened the door and started to whack the curtains, causing the mystery bug to crash to the floor. I overdid it on my first sweep, causing the massive bug to slide across the floor like a hockey puck. It was lost under my chair. I took a deep breath, moved the chair and thankfully found it on it's back... it couldn't run at me! Calmer this time, I swept it out the door. I then closed the door and locked all 4 locks. See if it gets back in. I am the boss of my house.



Someone later told me those things are called tree roaches... excuse me!? I didn't know they a) could get that big, b) crawl up curtains and c) get in MY house!!!!!