Miles above the earth, in the dark of night, when all should be sleeping, a passenger aboard a 777 became disgruntled.
The evening coffees had just been served, and I was busy fashioning a drug cocktail to help me sleep on the long, cramped flight. It consisted of Advil pm and sudafed. That should do the trick! My thinking was focused on making the flight seem as quick as possible, while setting my body to European time. I had planned masterfully. Comfy eye mask- check! Neck pillow- check! iPod equipped with John Mayer sleepy time playlist- check check!! What could ruin my full proof plan??
An UNKNOWN country band, on their way to Paris from Austin, happened to sit next to and behind us. At some point during dinner, a mysterious event occurred. At which, the hardly gentleman behind me became deeply offended. Consequently, for the next SEVEN hours he proceeded in using every form of profanity imaginable, and occasionally rammed into the seat in front of him. Ahem. It was "blankity blank this and blankity blank that. Four letter word, YOU!!"
I do think he had a very limited vocabulary, or the one that starts with F is just his favorite. Thank you, sir, for keeping me awake in a sort of drugged annoyance.
We made it to Paris safely, and went on to Ireland. At around 8 o'clock I had been awake for roughly 36 hours and traveled halfway around the world. Needless to say, I was ready for bed! Although it was still light outside at nine, I took another Advil pm ( to ensure sleep) and crawled into bed. Whew. So tired. I had no problem falling into a very deep slumber.
The next thing I know I am out of bed in a panic. "Lisa!!! Wake up!! We've missed the bus!" (Lisa is my aunt and roommate) She stumbled to her feet, grabbed her watch and said, "Its ten after ten. Why are we awake?"
Apparently I had no answer.
I am very confused at this point, when she returns from the bathroom and says, "Lauren, it's night time."
To which I reply, "Oh. I wondered why you weren't upset." And without another word, I got into bed and went to sleep.
Did you know it doesn't get dark this time of year in Ireland until 11?? I believe this, along with extreme exhaustion can be blamed for my delirious behavior that caused my poor aunt to wake up and get out of bed a mere HOUR after we'd been to sleep.
But if I'm honest, I'd like to blame the very rude dude sitting behind us on the plane. Blankity blank, YOU!!!!
Red Nose, Aching Heart by The Pioneer Woman
19 hours ago