Monday, July 20, 2009

How Do You Wash Paper?

When I was little I got carsick often. One time while on the way to Lubbock, I sat in the back of the suburban. I was a big reader even then and was totally consumed in a story. For one reason or another, my mother had given me ibuprofen. Well, about halfway down the road, I threw up. All over the book I was reading. To tell you the truth, I couldn't ever finish it. It smelled horrible. I could swear years later it still smelled that way. How do you wash paper?

This past Sunday was a long day. I woke up early and read my book in bed while drinking coffee. My sweet puppy accompanied this moment by laying by side sleeping. I went to church and then served lunch to the homeless at Impact. Then, back at the church I met up with Marty who was singing with his accapella group later that night. We visited for a while and then I left to get a smoothie. Back to the church for hot dogs and the concert. The concert was fantastic! Afterwards, I was glad to get home. Not to mention, poor Hurley had been cooped up all day. I took him on a short walk, hoping this would give him enough exercise to soothe him for a little while. I took a bath and hopped into bed with hopes of finally finishing my book. I prop my pillows up just right and allow Hurley up because he looked so dang cute with his puppy eyes. Well, about one paragraph into my reading, I decide Hurley needs to be on the ground. He was romping every which way and driving me bananas. So, I put him down and ignore a few whimpers as I continue reading. Finally, he decides to forget about me and starts running all over the house. I don't mind, because I am really enjoying my book. After some time it's very quiet. You know what this means. He's into something.

I guess I should start by saying that Hurley is doing very well with potty training. However, for the past several days, I have smelled something near the door that makes me think he's gone to the bathroom. I sniff around and investigate, but never find anything. As I crawl out of bed to search for my little darling, an aroma wafts towards me. THAT'S IT! He's really gone this time. So, once again, I attempt to find the "mess". It's no where to be found. Where could he have gone? I decide to get down on his level and sniff around. I stop when I get to my school bag, placed on the floor. HE WOULDN'T. Yep. That's where the smell is coming from. I am fuming as I pull back pieces of paper, waiting to find this mystery turd. My suspicions are not confirmed when I find an old bottle with the cap off. Hurley had not gone to the bathroom.

Oh, about a month ago, I had gone to a training and taken a homemade protein shake with strawberries for breakfast. I put it in one of those reusable water bottles from Target. It was about a fourth full and lay forgotten in my bag. Apparently, this is the smell I had been smelling all this time. Hurley had dug and somehow opened the cap, spilling the rotten contents into my bag. I am holding my breath at this discover and start to pull things out and lay them on the table. I can't simply throw these papers away, I need them for school in August! I start wipe them off and douse them in fabreeze. Then, I pour the bottle's contents down the drain. This opens a whole new can of worms, as now my sink is contributing to the smell. I pour bleach into the bottle and fill it with water to soak. Then I pour bleach down the drain. Not that it helps much. I am frantic to get this dreadful smell as far as possible from my house. I throw the nasty paper towels in the trash and empty the bag completely. I throw it in the washer and am fabreezing EVERYTHING. I have now spread the smell from it's contained bottle, to the entire house. What was I thinking?? I am very frustrated at such an interruption in my plans. I shut the doors to my room in hopes that the smell with not follow me there. As I get into bed I see a small wet spot on my comforter. Well, I know I didn't do it. With as much control as I can muster at this point, I take Hurley and put him in his crate. Then, remembering I still have to feed him, I get a scoop of food and all but throw it at him.

It is morning now. The smell is still there, even after more rounds of fabreeze and bleach AND emptying the trash. And, I'm stuck with these papers until I can make copies and throw the soiled ones away. The smell haunts me.

How do you wash paper?

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