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Honey, If You Love Me, You'll Smile

June: 
Keep a Smile- "If you're called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don't let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face." Verse 8

Step One: Give The Hard Smiles


Smoke from the fire burned my eyes, and I slipped on my sweatshirt to escape the evening chill.  The wobbly log I sat on dampened my jeans from the afternoon rain, and I tucked my hands inside my sleeves.  I shivered in the mountain air.

Giggles emerged from my friends across the circle as he sauntered toward me. I felt my cheeks flush as I held my breath, clenched my teeth, and tried to think of something morbidly depressing.  I looked at the fire, like I didn't have a thing on my mind.  And then he did something unexpected. He cheated, wiping the hair from my forehead, and sat in my lap, making the balance of the log almost tip. 

"Honey," he whispered, "If you love me, you'll smile." 

The competitiveness in me fought every urge to give into his charm.  I sucked the crisp, smokey air into my lungs and didn't make eye contact. 

"Honey," I answered, "I love you, but I just can't smile." 

He stared at me, with one last attempt at breaking me.  I held firm, forcing the corners of my mouth to stay turned down.  When at last he sighed and stood up, I grinned victoriously. 

At Blue Haven each year, we played "Honey, if you love me, you'll smile."  It was our favorite game, and to be truthful, I wasn't very good at it. A good lookin boy could sucker me into smiling just about every time, no matter how hard I tried to resist. 

I am a victim of the church giggles, and if it's a time to be quiet, I simply cannot get control of my smile. 

I wonder, then, why it's so hard to smile at other times.  It is easy to become frustrated with this world, disappointed in others, sad for the hurting, and wrapped up in myself--every day.  It's easy to think about the negative and lose my focus.

Sometimes I wonder if God is up there saying to me, "Lauren, if you love me, you'll smile." 

What else can I do but turn the corners of my mouth up, show some teeth and grin as big as I can? 

Hurley's Smile

Numb From The Brain Down

May: 
Just Help- "If you preach, just preach God's Message, nothing else; if you help, just help, don't take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; If you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don't get bossy; if you're put in charge, don't manipulate;" Verse 7


Step 1: Wash Water Tanks 
Step 2: Practice What You Preach 
Step 3: I Am Not The Boss 
Step 4: Feel Their Pain 


I waved his skin dry.  The alcohol evaporated, leaving a sterile section ready.  Holding his finger tight with the lance, I pushed the blue button one time.  Crimson liquid streamed from his finger as he sat still, looking up at me expectantly.  He doesn't cry anymore, and sometimes he will even push the button for you.  God made him sweet like that; temperament made to withstand.  Mason is eighteen months old and has type one diabetes.  I am his Lala-- changer of diapers, bringer of juice, driver of gators.  

Tonight I helped take care of him for a few hours.  We swam, played with trucks, ate dinner, took a bath and rocked to sleep.  If you didn't know any better, you wouldn't know Mason suffers... or feels pain.  

When I was little, I loved the movie Ferngully.  Now, if any of you know my right-winged father, you know he did not approve of such liberal movie viewing.  Therefore, I only got to watch it at friends' houses.  When I was little I didn't understand the nature of the movie, I liked it because of the jokes and fun characters.  

In one scene, the "human", Zac is trying to impress the fairy, Crysta.  He starts to carve the letters of her name into a big tree in the rain forest. Crysta becomes upset, grabs his hand and jams it up against the tree. She says, "No no! You mustn't do that! Can't you feel its pain?" 

Zac replies, dumbfounded with, "Its pain??" 


Batty, the escaped lab bat played by Robin Williams (hilariously), states, "Humans can't feel anything. They're numb from the brain down."  

Zambia Medical Mission 2006

Can't you feel his pain?  


Or are we numb? 


This month isn't just about helping others, it's about realizing that those around you are hurting. It's about throwing off the blinders and seeing what's really happening in this world. 

The baby getting his sugar checked every few hours.  The grandpa who lost a good friend.  The teenager who isn't being understood. The mom taking chemo.  The homeless man on the street. The dad who lost his job.  The child without a home. 


Can't you feel their pain?  


Sometimes, I really do think we are numb from the brain down.  This month has only a few days left, but I'm looking for hurt in others. 

Because when I can see their pain, I can find a way to help, understand, and love.  

Sometimes, all we need to do to help is give someone a giggle or two.

Spring Break Campaign- Chihuahua, Mexico 2005

MUD

May: 
Just Help- "If you preach, just preach God's Message, nothing else; if you help, just help, don't take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; If you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don't get bossy; if you're put in charge, don't manipulate;" Verse 7


Step 1: Wash Water Tanks 
Step 2: Practice What You Preach 
Step 3: I Am Not The Boss 


There are many things I love about summer, things that may seem odd to many who read this.  I knew it was almost here when the sweet smell of weeds, grass and wheat danced in the wind.  The big blue sky would fill with white puffy clouds, and the sun would warm everything up.  We stacked hay in pyramids that made for a pretty fun climb, and an even better slide down. 

The farmers turned on the irrigation well that rested on our dirt road, and it would roar at all hours of the day and night.  Crickets, locusts, and baby birds sang me to sleep, along with the purr of that well.   


By late summer, the corn would rise taller than my dad, and sometimes it seemed to have a spirit of it's own.  

I loved to ride my 4-wheeler, as fast as it would go, for as long as I could.  I looked 3 shades darker after all of the dust settled on my skin and hair, but I didn't care.  It didn't seem to matter that dirt etched into my eyes, molding with unauthorized tears, forming Cleopatra style shapes.  


One day, I rode along, enjoying the sun.  It hadn't rained in weeks, as often happens in the panhandle.  For this reason, I was puzzled when the wheels of my 4-wheeler stuttered to a halt and sunk 6 inches deep.  I was quickly reminded that the irrigation well wasn't there for my personal sleep hygiene. (Some people have recordings with waterfalls or rain, but I would love one of a well motor. :) )


I was about a mile from my house, sunk in a gigantic mud patch caused from farmers watering the corn. As I leaped from the 4-wheeler and into the mud, I stood there, panting, wondering how in the world I was going to get out of that mess.  I raised my leg, which felt like 50 pounds, and the suction pulled my shoe back down, tearing away from my foot. 


Standing with one shoe still on, rapidly sinking in the mud, I made a lunge for drier ground.  Eventually I made it, covered in mud, with an increasingly redder sun burn by the minute. I walked the mile back to my house this way, leaving my clodded shoes behind with the sunken 4-wheeler.  


There's something about this memory that brings the words: frustration, hopelessness, and defeat.  But, there's something kind of beautiful in the ending.  After walking a mile to my house, I convinced a brother to drive a 4-wheeler out there, with a chain, to rescue me.  The 4-wheeler, and my shoes, recovered from the mud, and all that was left was a scarred piece of earth.  


Sometimes "just helping" and "not being the boss" can be frustrating, hopeless and defeating.  But, more often than not, it is also beautiful.  


The thing about this month's goal is that someone else needs help. It's not about me, and more importantly, I can help save someone the feeling of frustration and defeat. I can help them feel relief-- even if it's by washing dishes, changing a diaper, opening a door. We can all do little things to pull each other out of the mud,  to wipe away the dirt, and show Jesus.   

Room Service

May: 
Just Help- "If you preach, just preach God's Message, nothing else; if you help, just help, don't take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; If you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don't get bossy; if you're put in charge, don't manipulate;" Verse 7


Step 1: Wash Water Tanks 
Step 2: Practice What You Preach 
Step 3: I Am Not The Boss 


Before I was old enough to drive, or work legally in the state of Texas, I had a car payment and a job.  My first car reminded me of a race car; it was a standard, and it went fast.  White, 4 doors-- a 94 Acura Integra.  At the time, 1994 didn't seem that old, and more importantly, it was mine.  


As a result of newly owning a car, I was in need of income.  My dad graciously decided to begin paying me for work. (Yes, begin. Child labor is popular on the farm.) And so, that is how I became the resident water tank washer of 2 feed yards in the Texas panhandle.  


For those of you who are not familiar with the term "feed yard", let me enlighten you.  A feed yard serves much like a hotel for cattle. They arrive in a rather large coach to stay in our luxurious pens, and essentially eat, drink, and be merry.  My presence in this happy little fairy tale resembles that of room service.  

 Exhibit: A. 

The cows I served weren't quite as small, or cute, for that matter.  It took me two and half hours to clean one feed yard's tanks.  I wore ratty old jeans with holes, a t-shirt or sweatshirt depending on the day (west Texas weather is about as predictable as in comes), my hair was folded into a messy knot on top of my head to combat the ever persistent breeze, and I wore rubber boots up to my knees in order to avoid sloshing manure seeping into my socks.  I marched with a large scrubbing brush in my hand, crawling through the fence into the pen. Cows taller than me looked up in curiosity, or maybe they had thoughts like, "Finally. It's been days, and they call themselves a 5-star feed yard?"  Cows are sassy like that. 


When I reached the water tank, positioned in the middle, I reached to the bottom to find the stopper.  It usually took great might to rip it out of the hole, and more often than not, I sprayed myself with its contents: manure, spit, moss, mud, grain, and who knows what else.  As the water drained, I scrubbed the sides of the tank until it was clean and white.  Then, I placed the stopper back in and let the water fill, crystal clear.  Lather, rinse, repeat. For every pen.   


On occasion, the cattle would decide to charge at me for no apparent reason.  This made my job even more fun.  At the end of my duty, I possessed a smell that took days to remove, dried manure grit in my teeth, and a rats' nest on my head.  For one feed yard's cleaning, two and a half hours of work, at minimum wage, I made 12 dollars.  It is not a stretch to say that I was at the bottom of the feed yard totem pole.  You simply could not find a worse job.  Did I mention my dad was the boss? 


When I read May's verse, and when I think about offering my life as a living sacrifice to God, I can't help but think about that feed yard job.  Just help: wash water tanks.  I want to help others in simple, and sometimes unpleasant, ways-- without recognition, power, or complaining.  


Washing water tanks wasn't a difficult job. It wasn't particularly great,  but someone had to do it.  

The First Mile

April: 
Be a Child of God- "Let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't." Verse 6



Step One: I ain't scared.  
Step Two: Quit Comparing. 
Step Three: Be Real.  
Step Four: Keep the Faith.  


I hate the first mile. 


 Lungs burning, heaving up and down, forcing air into my body.  Before the sweat breaks through, cooling the aching fire in my legs.  Each echoing step pounds into the ground heavily, and my bones scream out in protest. 


Then, the doubt creeps in. Why am I doing this? 


The first mile is an eternity of turmoil and angst-- an argument between my brain, heart and body.  A love triangle, if you will.  


The civil war continues until slowly, electricity surges through my muscles, my lungs soar with oxygen, and my brain celebrates victoriously. 


 Finally, the second mile is here! 


"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrews 12:1 


 Last weekend I ran the Blue Bell 10K, and it was all I could do to peel my eyes off of everyone else.  Who was before me? Who was behind me? I hope and pray I'm not at the end!! 


Isn't this life, though? Who looks better than I do? Who do I look better than? Who is a better Christian than I am? Who am I better than? 


And then, like the first mile, doubt creeps in.  Do I really want to run this race? 


Quit comparing. Run the race marked for US.  BE a child of God.  

Attack of the 8-legged Beast

April: 
Be a Child of God- "Let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't." Verse 6



Step One: I ain't scared.  
Step Two: Quit Comparing. 
Step Three: Be Real.  
Step Four: Keep the Faith.  


I sat, teaching about a surely important subject, using my projector.  Twenty-two children plunked down, cross legged on our speckled classroom carpet, ears perked and listening.  They fixed their eyes on the stark white screen projected with pictures and words for their learning.  As I rambled on, I noticed a stirring within them. My inner teacher reacted quickly in a scolding fashion, reminding them, yet again, that it was important to pay attention.  


I noticed a shift in their eyes from the projector to the ceiling, and back again.  I followed their gaze toward the projector, and dancing on the screen was a three foot, blurry, eight-legged creature-- or, it's shadow.  I brought my eyes to the ceiling, worried and nervous about what I would find.  And, to my comical relief, a tiny spider dangled in front of the projector lens, blinded from the light no doubt.  


In stunned confusion, the spider dropped, as if on mission impossible, using its silk.  He sank smack dab in the middle of my pod of children, and hung right above their heads.  


Giggles, shrieks, and movement happened all at once.  Finally, a little girl grabbed the silk string and walked the spider out the door, saving us from the eight-legged beast.  


Although it took us quite a while to revert to normal learning behaviors, I had to laugh at the absurdity of it all.  The tiniest of spiders appeared large and ferocious in what turned out to be an allusion.  


April's goal is to be a child of God.  I think it's appropriate to make step one: I ain't scared.  I think there's a great deal of fear involved when considering to bare your soul to others. We are afraid of what image will be projected of us-- a larger, hairier, not-exactly-accurate version of ourselves. And our faith.  


In order to be a child of God, I need to let go of the world's web that entangles us in doubt, fear, and rejection.  I need to be confident in my status as a child of God.  It is my identity. 

Zebra Question

March: 
Be Involved- "In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around.  The body we're talking about is Christ's body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn't amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ's body..." Verses 4&5

Step One: Need Other People 
Step Two: Get To Know New People 

Step Three: Know Yourself

   Zebra Question

I asked a zebra,

Are you black with white stripes?

Or white with black stripes?

And the zebra asked me, 

Are you good with bad habits? 

Or are you bad with good habits? 

Are you noisy with quiet times?

Or are you quiet with noisy times? 

Are you happy with some sad days?

Or are you sad with some happy days? 

Are you neat with some sloppy ways?

Or are you sloppy with some neat ways?

And on and on and on and on 

And on and on he went. 

I'll never ask a zebra

About stripes

Again. 

- Shell Silverstein, A Light in the Attic 

If you can't tell, third graders are learning a few things about poetry right now. I read this particular poem in class today, and I want to know, are we Christ with some worldly ways? Or are we worldly with some Christ ways? Do we get our meaning from the body of Christ, or does the body of Christ get it's meaning from us?

This month's goal is to be involved, and as the verse says, "Each of us finds our meaning and function as part of His body."  I think that in order to really do this, we need to give ourselves a little evaluation: a zebra question.  

The Sunburn Sneak Attack

March: 
Be Involved- "In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around.  The body we're talking about is Christ's body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn't amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ's body..." Verses 4&5

Step One: Need Other People 
Step Two: Get To Know New People 


March is my favorite for many reasons. A few of those include: Houston rodeo, St. Patty's Day, March Madness, Spring Break, Spring, Jeep Weather... etc.  March is awesome.  But, one thing that I can always count on from March is the sneaky sunburn.  You know what I'm talking about, the accidental-just-talking-outside-in-the-pretty-weather-sunburn.  

While I gladly welcomed a little sun to my Irish/German paleness, I in no way expected to swelter hours later in stinging remembrance of the sun.  As I sit here, I can feel the heat radiating from my legs, through my jeans, and onto my arms.  March's sunburn sneak attack.  It gets me every year.

It's funny to me how sneaky a sunburn in March can be.  I guess it's because we've been cooped up all winter, and are just now baring our skin, but you would think a clear sunny day would give it away.  I mean, come on, it's not rocket science. Or maybe it is, something about rockets and the sun seem to go together. 

Here's how it happened for me today.  I went for a run, and if I'm honest, it was the longest I've ran. Ever.  Okay, it was 5 miles, but let's face it, that's a lot! (All of your marathon runners can keep the comments to yourself.)  I am training for a 10k with my friend Nicole, and today, I felt great.  Afterward, as I refueled, I sat by the pool and talked to my aunt Lisa.  It was a gorgeous day, and I basked in the sun, enjoying it's warmth.  It was perfect weather, and I never felt hot-- until now.  That sun crept up on me, and tricked me into believing it was as good as it felt.

I think pride is the same way.  In the beginning, feeling good about yourself feels great, like fresh Spring sun.  But, after a while, pride stings with regret. 

March's goal is to be involved.  My first step is to need others, but my second step is to get to know new people.  I recently attended a wedding with my friend Jill. She was gushing over the people she had just met stating, "I've met so many cool people here! Like people I would call to hang out with! I love meeting new people."  My response? Yeah, that's not my thing.  If I'm honest, I don't really enjoy meeting new people. It's kind of awkward, a little uncomfortable, and really, will you ever see them again? 

But, if I truly am trying to accomplish March's goal and verse, I need to meet new people. I need to remember that I am a part of a body-- Christ's body.  It's not just me and my awesomeness... or lack thereof.  

Chopped Off

March: 
Be Involved- "In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around.  The body we're talking about is Christ's body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn't amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ's body..." Verses 4&5

Step One: Need Other People 

A bowl of half eaten popcorn sat on the coffee table amongst remotes and lemonade cups.  Tinker Bell credits stood frozen, hidden on the powerless TV.  In the darkness, a small hand touched me on my arm, and then it happened again.  It didn't seem intentional, as it played with my elbow, and then my wrist.

"Turn over, Mia." I grumbled, sleepily. 
I heard her breathing, she was so close. 
"Hold hands!" She whispered.

I twisted my body through the tangled sheets, and pushed away the toy giraffe that shared the same bed.  Then, I wrapped her small soft hand in mine, and we slept through the night. 

And at that moment, it didn't matter that the popcorn was left out.  It didn't matter that only a few miles away, her baby brother had just been diagnosed with type one diabetes.  It didn't matter that his family wept for his suffering, praying that God take it away.  What mattered was that Mia, snuggled with a beloved giraffe and her Lala, was loved. 

And though I comforted her through a dark night, she comforted me in my fear.  How amazing a relationship with a three year old can be, and how debilitating pride can be. 

I know I'm late this month, and I didn't close out February.  But, I'm ready for March.  The goal this month is to be involved.  It's about unity, being connected instead of isolated.  It's about needing to hold hands with a three year old as much as she needs it. It's about realizing you can't do it on your own.

"But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn't amount to much, would we?" 

The Time My Pinkie Was Naked

February: 
Give Thanks- "I'm speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him." Verse 3.

Step One: Tell Him Thanks.
Step Two: Thank Others.  
Step Three: Get Over Yourself.  



I knew my friend Ashley wanted a pinkie ring--a pinkie ring with a cross, silver, from James Avery.  When I went to get it for her birthday, I glanced around at all of the jewelry cases, loving the pinkie ring with a cross.  I secretly wanted to keep it for myself, but knew I could never do that.  After receiving the gift, Ashley wore the ring daily, and she knew I coveted it.  So, for Christmas that year, she gave me one just like it.  We were seniors in high school, but our rings were more than just "friendship" rings. By way of a vertical relationship with God, they connected us horizontally on Earth. Later, for graduation that year, we gave our friend Jill her own ring.  

And then there were three.  

All together now, "Awwwww!"

I wore my ring every day, on my left hand. Every day.  And, every time I would glance in it's direction, I was reminded of my dear friendships and how I cherished friends who loved God like I did. 

 My ring lasted all through college: It soaked in sweat, running the 2-mile track around ACU, dried off on countless trips in a topless jeep, acquired grease during midnight runs to Taco Bueno, warmed up holding hands with boys, sparkled during Sing Song moves, traveled the world- to Africa and Italy. My ring went everywhere. 

We drove around Abilene, in the jeep, with these faces.

 It survived my first year of teaching, when I didn't think I would myself.  It came with me to Houston, and experienced youth group trips.  It was at one such youth group trip that it first happened.  I think we were at Harding for Uplift, and if you've ever been to Arkansas, you know how hot and humid it is in the summer.  My fingers would swell, and then go back down inside buildings with air conditioning. Somehow, through all the back and forth with swelling, my ring slipped off my pinkie and rolled down the auditorium filled with hundreds of teenagers. I was devastated.  There was no way to find it, it was gone.  



I mourned the loss of my ring, and though I was sad, I decided I wasn't ready to let go. Upon returning to Houston, I found the nearest James Avery store and purchased the second pinkie ring with a cross.  Soon, it found it's place on my finger, like the other one had. It was shiny, perfectly shaped, and looked different on my hand.  My old ring had scratches, was a little dim (probably from all the sweat and Bueno grease), and shaped to my finger, forming an off centered oval.  It wasn't quite the same, but over the past few years, the new ring has had it's own adventures: soaked with frequent licks from Hurley, jaunting to Ireland, clutching the phone while catching up with friends, lots of baby squeezing.  It continued to hold the same sentiment as the previous ring, while I tried to forget I'd lost the real one.

Because who doesn't like to talk on the phone?

In November this year, I went to eat with my family at our favorite sushi restaurant. I reached into my purse to grab my phone, and realized my ring was not there. "Oh no," I thought, "How could this happen again?"  I had half the table on the floor looking, and I lost my appetite for raw fish (if there ever really was one) realizing it was gone.  This time, I didn't rush to the nearest James Avery for a replacement.  I guess in some way I felt that it was time to let go, sad as it made me.  


This weekend, I traveled to Abilene for Sing Song. I love this weekend! It is full of God, Family, Friends, and TACO BUENO (twice)! On the drive, I dug into my purse pocket for a rubber band, when something cold and metal slipped on the tip of my pinkie.  To my immense joy, it was my beloved pinkie ring, the one with a cross.  

For those of you wondering what Sing Song is about, we bawked in harmony.

Words cannot express how warm my heart was to find that ring (but maybe that picture does).   I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. My ring represents friendship, and that's what Sing Song weekend is all about. My heart is overflowing with thankfulness for the friends I have. You are blessings, and I'm glad you're in my life.



My experience with that pinkie ring reminded me of this parable:


"Imagine a woman who has ten coins and loses one. Won't she light a lamp and scour the house, looking in every nook and cranny until she finds it? And when she finds it you can be sure she'll call her friends and neighbors: 'Celebrate with me! I found my lost coin!' Count on it—that's the kind of party God's angels throw every time one lost soul turns to God." Luke 15: 8-10


What gets me about this story is the kind of "party" God's angels throw.  How great is our God? 

"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see."

A Little Less Talk

February: 
Give Thanks- "I'm speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him." Verse 3.

Step One: Tell Him Thanks.
Step Two: Thank Others. 
Step Three: Get Over Yourself.  

Today, I laughed.   I laughed from the inside, at a joke. The joke was between me and a one year old, but it was funny, and I laughed.  He got it too, and he giggled all over, showing brand new teeth.  No one taught him about humor, he doesn't need anyone to tell him how funny his Lala is (that's me, in case you didn't catch on).  We don't have kids sit around and discuss the whys, hows and whens of laughter. They simply know when to do it, how to do it and why to do it.  They get it.  Stuff's funny.


Why, then, do we sit and discuss Christianity-- the whys, the hows, the whens.... instead of doing it?  Shouldn't it come naturally, from deep within our soul, like a good laugh? 


I read this verse this morning out of Luke 6:9, "But if you just use my words in Bible studies and don’t work them into your life, you are like a dumb carpenter who built a house but skipped the foundation. When the swollen river came crashing in, it collapsed like a house of cards. It was a total loss.”

 The foolish man built his house upon the sand... 

The foolish man built his house upon the sand... 

The foolish man built his house upon the sand... 

And the rains came tumblin down... 

The rains came down... and the floods came up... 

The rains came down and the floods came up... 

The rains came down and the floods came up...

And the foolish man's house went.... SPLAT! 

Did you ever sing that song in Sunday School? The splat part was always my favorite. Talk about giggles from kids. It's about as bad as "... and if the devil doesn't like it he can sit on a tack."  That one was sure to render chaos.

Know what's scary?  "SPLAT!" is about to happen to us. Because the rains will come, there's no doubt about that.  Things happen all the time that rattle your faith, ruffle your feathers, and shake your foundation. 

What is the point of knowing verses and all the right answers, if we aren't going to act? If I can accept that God is the good within me, then at some point I've got to trust Him.  Playing it safe in bible studies isn't what was intended.  If God's goodness is given to me, then it should be natural to use the words of Jesus effortlessly, like laughing with a child. 

The thing is though, it's not.  It's hard.  My Romans 12 Project is about presenting my life as an offering to God. I'd like to add characteristics to my life that unfortunately don't come naturally. I get what Jesus is saying in Luke.  We can't just talk. We've got to walk.  

This Valentine's evening I had the pleasure of laughing with two of my sweet little cousins.  I'm thankful for them-- their preciousness.  They laugh from the inside, the way I want to live my life-- like the wise man... whose house didn't go "SPLAT".  I'd like to be a child of God who walks in the light instead of talking about it in the dark.

The wise man built his house upon the rock... 

The wise man built his house upon the rock... 

The wise man built his house upon the rock... 

And the rains came tumblin down... 

The rains came down, and the floods came up... 

The rains came down, and the floods came up... 

The rains came down, and the floods came up... 

And the wise man's house stood firm.

Vicks: 1, Mucus: 0.

February: 
Give Thanks- "I'm speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him." Verse 3.

Step One: Tell Him Thanks.
Step Two: Thank Others. 
Step Three: Get Over Yourself. 


The hacking continues as my body angrily throws a tantrum in response to that ridiculous smoke episode last week.  Between coughs, it seems as though a mouse (we'll call him Mucus) squeaks in my chest.  A week ago, I proudly ran 2.6 miles (I know this via May My Run), and felt beyond fantastic. Endorphins are great when you don't keel over at the end. Tonight, however, I simply walked upstairs and was out of breath (Granted, it could have been from the giant Hershey kiss I smothered with peanut butter and ate, but that's a different story.) 


I find myself amazed at the power of Vicks vapor rub. No, seriously. Either it does it's job well, or I have some sort of addiction.  Those cool vapors saunter up through my nose and kick butt in my chest.  Vicks: 1, Mucus: 0. 


You know, you never really think about how healthy you are until you aren't.  I haven't had a cough in three years, despite it's frequent visits when I was a child who had asthma (and lived in a corn field, but whatever).  Tonight, though, I'm thankful for my health, squeaky cough, or not.  I am very healthy, and even when I'm not at my best, someone invented Vicks vapor rub to come to my rescue.

There are those who do not have health on their side.  In my prayers right now are two:  First, little baby Kynian, born at 24 weeks, just contracted Influenza A.  And second, sweet Laura, battling uterine cancer.  I pray for their healing, strength, and patience as doctors work to help them. 


Our bodies are complex and amazing things, and our God is an awesome God.  He's like Vicks, but for every illness.  Say a prayer tonight for those you know struggling in their health. 

"Our God is an awesome God
He reigns from heaven above
With wisdom, power and love
Our God is an awesome God"

All That And A Bag Of Chips... And Some Dip

February: 
Give Thanks- "I'm speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him." Verse 3.

Step One: Tell Him Thanks.
Step Two: Thank Others. 
Step Three: Get Over Yourself.  


"The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him." 


Mistake #1-  Trying to make a fire last week and breathing in smoke, even though your body said to stop.
Mistake #2- Shopping in Wal-Mart, and deciding not to buy more creamer. 
Mistake #3-  I coughed all night because of the darn smoke, I'll just push snooze twice.
Mistake #4-  Who can drink coffee without creamer? I'll just use a gift card and run through Starbucks. 
Mistake #5- Oops. You have a parent conference this morning. Way to be late. 
Mistake #6- Now your coffee is cold, because you had to make up for lost time talking. 


Somehow, after that, it was a downhill slope full of mistakes.  And when I mess up, I mess up big.  I ended up apologizing ten different times--at least-- and to all different people! Some of them were honest mistakes, and some of them were simply impulsive.  A day later, I reflect on some of those actions and wonder to myself, "What were you thinkin?" 


It's kind of funny how many self-help books there are out there. In fact, there is a whole section in the book store! Why is it so hard for people to know themselves? Why do we need to see therapists and have someone else explain it? It would seem that knowing yourself would be an easy thing, but strangely, we struggle with it.


While I don't pretend to know the answers, I do think about the latter part of this month's verse.  "The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us."  It serves as a reminder to me that a) I am not good, b) God is good, and c) God "does" for me.  The good in me is from Him. 


Mistakes are frustrating.  But, mistakes usually happen when I am trying to control something that I shouldn't.  Mistakes happen when I think I know what I'm talkin about.  Today, I'm thankful for mistakes and their ability to humble me.  Step three for this month's goal: Get over yourself.  A little humbling never hurt anyone, and maybe my mantra for this month should be, "I am not all that and a bag of chips. I am not all that and a bag of chips. I am not all that and a bag of chips."


But know who is?  God. Lyrics to praise with: 

"Blessed be Your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
And blessed be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
And blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name
And blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord blessed be Your name"

To All My Hedwigs

February: 
Give Thanks- "I'm speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him." Verse 3.

Step One: Tell Him Thanks.
Step Two: Thank Others.  


The hallways buzzed with noisy children, disobeying the rules posted here and there.  I scribbled in folders, passed out homework, answered 5 questions, and made sure everyone had a coat-- all in about three minutes.  I have a student teacher right now, and at the end of the day today she said, "I don't know how you remember all of the things you have to do."   You and me both, sister.  

This got me thinking about my every day.  I wake up at 5:00, make coffee, pack my lunch, read my bible, play some games... Then, it's time to get ready for school, take Hurley out, clean the kitchen and get to school.  Then, let's say another 500 things happen at school. After school I work out, pay bills, take care of church and family things... this leads me to the conclusion that people are BUSY! I don't even have kids or a husband, and I feel like there's a heck of a lot happening.


I think if you live this life, day after day, checking things off of a needless checklist, you are eventually going to crack.  I kind of think this is why many divorces happen, or midlife crises.  Sometimes we get so busy, that it annoys us when others are in our way, and somehow, we just lose it.  I think of how easy it is for me to rattle off several emails right in a row and avoid actually talking to anyone.  Check. Check. Check.  For some reason, I don't pencil in "real people time". 

How sad would it be to go through life, keeping up with that endless checklist, and never stretch outside of it?  Or worse, never have anyone notice? There are many people who have done much for my life, going out of their everyday check list, investing in me.  I am using February's focus as a way to thank God for those in my life and to thank the people who have made a difference.  

God has given goodness to His people.  I truly believe that He uses us for the good of his Kingdom.  Many blessings of mine arrive via someone else -- like Hedwig  in Harry Potter, who brought Harry his mail, faithfully, until the end.  So, to all of my Hedwigs from God, this month is for YOU! :) 

Where The Pecans Grow

February: 
Give Thanks- "I'm speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him." Verse 3.

Step One: Tell Him Thanks.

Where the pecans grow, 

Stands a warm house, 

Filled with family, 

Who like to eat,

After a prayer, 

And before laughing, 

When children play, 

And grandparents hug, 

While babies are kissed, 

Biscuits are served, 

As lives are shared, 

  Where the pecans grow.  

Today, I am thankful for my family. A family who eats together, prays together, and lives together.  And, this is why Saturday morning breakfasts on Pecan Grove are what I look forward to each week.